Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
