He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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