i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
