He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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