I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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