What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
