I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
