i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We don't watch enough power rangers
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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