just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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