im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
