She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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