just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
