anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
