you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
