I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
