how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Someone came in the potted fern
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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