So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
