Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
