It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
