I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
