i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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