When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
