i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
