Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
