I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
