you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
