I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
