Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
