first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
