38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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