New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
