Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
