i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
