remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
