stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
