Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
