What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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