I showed him my bush... on skype.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
