is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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