He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
