Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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