The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How does one acquire holy water?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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