Who wears a wallet chain?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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