I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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