He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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