it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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