no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
