I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
