Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
