? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
