She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
