i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Randomize
